God is trying to convey something

I never believe in GOD and I never did.

I had a near death Xperience moments ago, I am not trying to exaggerate but this is one moment I ought to write it down in case I need to review. But first of all, the decision made was all mine, however, I did not regret what I did.
Moments ago, at 3.15am , I told my friends that I do not want a ride back home. I wanted to walk home. Reason being, I missed Jovien and all these while walking helps and solve my insomnia during the night. If not for these walk, I could have gone out of my mind. Maybe you guys will never understand, but it is still hard for me to believe that jovien is not with me anymore. I am so sensitive to barks recently, but I believe that this will be temporarily… until a time when I gotta move on with my life.

For that, I walk back. 15 mins later, horrible stuff happened right in front of my ex-secondary school. My school is situated at a quiet corner of the whole estate, situated right next to a golf course. I was able to cross the road, when suddenly a loud ‘BANG’ came in my way just on the opposite site. I was afraid, I looked around and I am the only witness, I ran to hide. The van crushes into a stationary car parked by the road side, it was terrible. The driver, who was half awake (to mi), now awaken, later reverse his van and move off. A hit and run situation… GOD! Why must I be the one to witness, I stood by for a few second before passer-by who heard bang came over. I know where the van was heading, out of curiousity, I headed forward to the carpark he went into. I was determine to find its van number as I was sure that the route he went into was a dead end, yet it wasn. I called up JaSMINE just in case anything that when anything happen to mi, she can report it on my behalf.

Soon, when I couldn find the Van, I make my move. In my mind, I was thinking for protection. My misery was far from ending. Lightning and thunder starts rumbling down, I feel intimidated. It got even worst every minutes and I knew I had to prepare for the worst. Because the route where I am going to walk home is totally unsheltered, there were insufficient headlight to give me a proper direction. My ultimate goal was just to get to the nearest bus stop ASAP. I need blessing from everyone, never in my life I am that scare. I am alone in the night, calling out to friends to seek comfort (yet I know using HP under unsheltered area is dangerous), the aftermath of the accident, the long walk along the PLAIN GOLF FIELD, all of which really scare the shit out of me.
I was on the verge of death. I just wan to get home quickly, I MOVED on. I teared when I ran through the field, it was dark, I am helpless, lightning in all direction that was so near to mi. Half way through, i entered a shelther that was still under construction. Nevertheless, it brings mi some hope and confidence. I just keep walk, no matter how many barriers there are under the shelter. I walked over all Caution sign and fences, just not to step out to the unsheltered zone. But unfortunately, I got hurt on my left hand from the effect of lightning. i was too afraid and I stood too close to being out of the shelter, lightning came and it struck next to me, I pulled my hand off and I felt the heat and burn on my hands for a moment. I was more worried than crying. I called out to June and Jasmine, standing before I continue to run for life.

Reached the bus stop along expressway, no cab came for me, because no PEOPLE in the right frame of mind would be in that bus stop at 3.30am. That’s insane, hard for mi and taxi driver to believe either. I just wanna go home… I have a lot of uncompleted task to do… …

The experience I mention was not kidding, I have no reason to make u believe, I am recording it down for myself to know…

- The things I thought at the moment was just jovien and Nicholas for protection and comfort. I think they make an impact to my life recently and I love them, especially Nic. In case I never get to mention, I love him. That’s not very rite, but Everyone knows my feelings for him alr. I am clear what I am doing and I dun think its an infatuation. I know i might never make it into ur heart but least we are both comfortable with each other in terms of communication.

- I think this incident is conveying something to me. Maybe about treasuring life or whatsoever, but I have done nothing wrong to deserve such punishment. Taxi driver said ‘u dun nothng wrong, why are you scare of lightning?’

- I just think that minor problems shouldn bother me now, however, I still need to apologise to JAZreel for treating her like a maid, for I will never understand what she is thinking when I never have that intention before.

- As for jovien, he is not part of my history yet. I know when I will to give up on you. Meanwhile, just wait till I find you.

- Thanks eva, no more words for u should understand.